I mention 2 book. The Power of Now and Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill.

Thanks for listening. Please ask questions.

www.douginapub.com doug@douginapub.com

Asking for help is the strong thing.

The post From A to B Starting with How first appeared on Doug In A Pub.

I could have made a better choice, but it propelled me forward and I haven’t stopped moving forward since. 

Ask for help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

From here on the episodes get much more uplifting and motivational. 

Thanks for listening. Ask questions.  

The post The Night I Tried Suicide first appeared on Doug In A Pub.

I had some people ask me some tough questions, and I needed to backup my story so I could try to answer them properly. 

This is in preparation for really digging into the changes I made to become who I am today. I will try to offer strategies and ideas to help others.|

As always, ask questions.
doug@douginapub.com
www.douginapub.com

The post The Beginning first appeared on Doug In A Pub.

I was born on 11/21/1966, my nephew Jon was born on 11/14/73. Today would have been his birthday.

My first memory of Jon was when he was about a year old. I was in the family room of my parents’ house (I lived with them after all) building some sort of Lego masterpiece on the coffee table. This little kid waddled into the room, grabbed it and broke off a chunk, so I walked around the table and shoved him to the floor. I got in so much trouble. Seven year old kids should know better, but the bastard broke my Legos.

I always found it interesting the relationship between our birthdays and our lives. We were born 7 years and 7 days apart (6 years, 11 months and 25 days to be precise). We had similar tastes in music and went to some awesome shows together – Prince, Men Without Hats, Lacuna Coil. We both started and sold our own businesses. We both had issues due to being self employed. I tried to end my own life when I was 44, he succeeded in ending his at 44.

I know many people are angry with those that choose to end their own lives. Having made the attempt, I don’t feel anger, just a sense of loss. He knew how loved he was, how important he was/is to friends and family. I am sure that if he had asked for help, a mob would have answered yes. But, for whatever reason, he couldn’t see a way out of the hole he perceived himself to be stuck in.

In my case, there was nothing anyone could have done to stop my plan. I went to a party the night before my attempt, and had a great time with friends. I know I am not the only one to have reached out to Jon, to have offered help, to have shown him there is hope. Depression is a liar. It removes hope, it hides promise.

He was one of the best people to ever inhabit this planet. I will always have a Jon-shaped hole in my life.

When you are struggling, asking for help is the best gift you can ever give to someone. Friends and family can do everything right, be there for them, offer the best advice, love, support, everything…. but when depression comes to call, it is almost impossible not to answer. The hardest thing as a friend, parent or family member is to make peace with the fact there was nothing more that could have been done. To stand back, unable to change things. To only look forward and not blame ourselves for things that happened.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

The post Jon first appeared on Doug In A Pub.

There are few days when I don’t think of them. But they are rare. There are moments of panic when I think, “Crap, I haven’t talked to mom in a long time. I should call her” Then it hits me. It is getting easier, but very slowly. There was/is a numbness about both my parents being gone. That is starting to fade and at times it is harder now then when they first passed.

Sure, I make jokes about my parents being dead all the time. That is how I deal with bad things. I’m still not Batman. WTF!?

I have the most remarkable friends and family that have helped me through this past 476 days. Thank you!!

Love you all.

Doug

The post 476 & 365 first appeared on Doug In A Pub.