compassion - Doug In A Pub

Black Lives Matter

Doug Johnson — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 14:51:39 +0000

When George Floyd was murdered in the street, it had nothing to do with his past. Nothing to do with black on black crime. It was an angry white man killing a defenseless black man. Just the way the system has been built. The biggest change is all of the cameras everyone carries. Now we are seeing all of these murders. The number of murders by cops needs to be zero. Yes, there will be times when deadly force is needed. But those need to be so rare they make the news.

It had to do with centuries of systematic racism built into the judicial and law enforcement system.

The first “law enforcement” in the south (Slave Patrol) was to capture slaves. Too much of that mentality is left in the system. It is in our court system, in our schools, the media, the laws and governments. The school to prison pipeline is real and actual.

Implicit bias is a real and proven thing and the anti black, anti minority sentiment is so deeply ingrained in the system that even the most oppressed people look down upon themselves We and society taught them that.

We did this, the majority has tilted the system so far in our favor it is scary. We, the majority, are the only ones that can fix it. It is not up to the oppressed people to teach the oppressors how to be better. It is squarely and solely upon our shoulders.

We did this, we can fix it. #blacklivesmatter

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From A to B Starting with How

Doug Johnson — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 00:17:38 +0000

One of the hardest questions I have been asked to answer is, how I got from wanting to kill myself to loving my life. I try to lay the ground work of that answer in this episode.

I mention 2 book. The Power of Now and Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill.

Thanks for listening. Please ask questions.

www.douginapub.com doug@douginapub.com

Asking for help is the strong thing.

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The Night I Tried Suicide

Doug Johnson — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 11:22:46 +0000

In this episode I cover the month or so from the end of my marriage to the night I tried to overdose. As you can tell, I was unsuccessful. I have had many people ask me about this time period, so I thought I should cover it.

I could have made a better choice, but it propelled me forward and I haven’t stopped moving forward since.

Ask for help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

From here on the episodes get much more uplifting and motivational.

Thanks for listening. Ask questions.

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The Beginning

Doug Johnson — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 18:21:05 +0000

I go back to the beginning and talk about who I was before my suicide attempt. Some of the bigger events and some things that show who I used to be.

I had some people ask me some tough questions, and I needed to backup my story so I could try to answer them properly.

This is in preparation for really digging into the changes I made to become who I am today. I will try to offer strategies and ideas to help others.|

As always, ask questions.
doug@douginapub.com
www.douginapub.com

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Doug in a Pub Ep5 Fear and Love

Doug Johnson — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 12:57:46 +0000

Download this episode

I talk and fear and love. Pretty straight forward episode.

My favorite quote about fear:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” Frank Herbert, Dune

My favorite quote about love:

“Anyone can love a thing because. That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket.
But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

Episode 6 will be part one of my conversation with Eliza Rickman.

Here is the post where I asked Brett to marry me.

Thank you for listening, spread the word. Love each other. Have a question or want to be a guest?
doug@douginapub.com

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Human

Doug Johnson — Sat, 30 Sep 2017 18:30:43 +0000

Human. I spend a lot of time thinking about this word and what it means.

I have had many discussions about whether, when thinking about someone, this descriptor should come first, last or somewhere in the middle.

For me, I think of everyone as human first. It is the fastest way of connecting, of individualizing every one I have found. It is the most singular commonality we all share and start with. The moment we are born, we start to gather labels and layers. These are the things that we and others use to separate us, to categorize us and sub-divide us.

When I hear about someone that has done a terrible thing, the first thing I feel now is compassion. Trying to understand what could have possibly happened to that poor human to get them to the point in their existence that that action was a viable option. If I start with one of the labels that they have taken upon themselves or the that world has yoked them with, the first thing I would feel is judgment or maybe that karma has caught up with them. I don’t want to feel this way. It seems dehumanizing to me.

The roots of my compassion or radical empathy is covered very well by Amanda Palmer in this article she wrote for the New Statesmen. A couple of years ago, there was a story in the news about a young man that was so lost he attacked and killed people in a church. Of course I felt compassion for his victims and their families. That was easy. I spent two long months trying to find compassion for him. To make him human, to strip away all of the labels the world put onto him. I felt so much guilt, felt dirty and lost as I got to his core. I feel if we don’t feel compassion for the most lost, for the worst of us, the rest is just lip service to make ourselves feel better. To feed our egos.

Sam Richards did an amazing TED talk about this. It really made me think.

In order to see each other as human first, we need to practice radical empathy and compassion. To practice theory of mind.

Another interesting example of my human first approach is what has happened in the world of orchestras with the start of blind auditioning, which ultimately led to increased diversity.

I am in no way saying that the things that build us into the the individual people we are are not important. These differences are what make the world so interesting, but at our core, we are human first.

As always, ask questions. I am new at this living thing.

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