change - Doug In A Pub

Black Lives Matter

Doug Johnson — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 14:51:39 +0000

When George Floyd was murdered in the street, it had nothing to do with his past. Nothing to do with black on black crime. It was an angry white man killing a defenseless black man. Just the way the system has been built. The biggest change is all of the cameras everyone carries. Now we are seeing all of these murders. The number of murders by cops needs to be zero. Yes, there will be times when deadly force is needed. But those need to be so rare they make the news.

It had to do with centuries of systematic racism built into the judicial and law enforcement system.

The first “law enforcement” in the south (Slave Patrol) was to capture slaves. Too much of that mentality is left in the system. It is in our court system, in our schools, the media, the laws and governments. The school to prison pipeline is real and actual.

Implicit bias is a real and proven thing and the anti black, anti minority sentiment is so deeply ingrained in the system that even the most oppressed people look down upon themselves We and society taught them that.

We did this, the majority has tilted the system so far in our favor it is scary. We, the majority, are the only ones that can fix it. It is not up to the oppressed people to teach the oppressors how to be better. It is squarely and solely upon our shoulders.

We did this, we can fix it. #blacklivesmatter

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From A to B Starting with How

Doug Johnson — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 00:17:38 +0000

One of the hardest questions I have been asked to answer is, how I got from wanting to kill myself to loving my life. I try to lay the ground work of that answer in this episode.

I mention 2 book. The Power of Now and Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill.

Thanks for listening. Please ask questions.

www.douginapub.com doug@douginapub.com

Asking for help is the strong thing.

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The Night I Tried Suicide

Doug Johnson — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 11:22:46 +0000

In this episode I cover the month or so from the end of my marriage to the night I tried to overdose. As you can tell, I was unsuccessful. I have had many people ask me about this time period, so I thought I should cover it.

I could have made a better choice, but it propelled me forward and I haven’t stopped moving forward since.

Ask for help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

From here on the episodes get much more uplifting and motivational.

Thanks for listening. Ask questions.

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The Beginning

Doug Johnson — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 18:21:05 +0000

I go back to the beginning and talk about who I was before my suicide attempt. Some of the bigger events and some things that show who I used to be.

I had some people ask me some tough questions, and I needed to backup my story so I could try to answer them properly.

This is in preparation for really digging into the changes I made to become who I am today. I will try to offer strategies and ideas to help others.|

As always, ask questions.
doug@douginapub.com
www.douginapub.com

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Doug in a Pub Ep5 Fear and Love

Doug Johnson — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 12:57:46 +0000

Download this episode

I talk and fear and love. Pretty straight forward episode.

My favorite quote about fear:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” Frank Herbert, Dune

My favorite quote about love:

“Anyone can love a thing because. That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket.
But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

Episode 6 will be part one of my conversation with Eliza Rickman.

Here is the post where I asked Brett to marry me.

Thank you for listening, spread the word. Love each other. Have a question or want to be a guest?
doug@douginapub.com

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Doug in a Pub podcast Episode 2

Doug Johnson — Tue, 21 May 2019 21:52:02 +0000

Why, Origin Story, Brick Store Pub, Tire Change that Changed My Life

Episode summary. I start off talking about the word why and how it has affected me. A brief story of how the Doug in a Pub podcast and blog came to be. I was the first guest on a podcast called “Life in a Kilt” it is now gone from the internet, but I have gotten my hands on the episode on which I was a guest. I will post it soon. We talk about life and kilts. The hosts, Rick and Cheri have started a new podcast called. This Epic Disaster. I never miss an episode, give it a listen.

A review of one of my all time favorite bars, The Brick Store Pub. Here is a link to a review I posted on my blog. I finish up with a story of how changing a tire changed my life. Episode three will include two conversations with my partner Brett. We will talk about want vs need and BrewDog. I will also talk about a story from when I was little and how it changed over time and how those changes affected me. Memories are not what they are cracked up to be. Thanks for listening. What do you want to hear me talk about? Want to be a guest? Please share!! You can subscribe to this podcast in most places. iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Beyond Pod….

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Words Count – The ones we think and the ones we say

Doug Johnson — Fri, 14 Jul 2017 21:45:37 +0000

If you read my blog, you will notice one of the main things I continue to focus my time and energy on is word choice. Word choice is the largest contributor to my continued growth and success as a human being.

I recently bought one of those clicking handheld counters. I did this so I could hold myself accountable for any and all negative words I used towards another human. So, for everything I thought or said that was negative, I gave myself a click. I was averaging about 15 per day (but I have been working on this for a long time already).

Did I call someone an idiot for cutting me off in traffic? Did I call a politician a name? Was I judgmental towards someone? This exercise did a few things for me, one of which caught me off guard.

I guess a current buzz word is micro-aggression. That’s what most of the negative words I used were. Small acts of violence. As a pacifist, this did not sit well with me. I believe that words can be a form of violence. Think of the emotional abuse and criticism between spouses, or from parents to children. When spoken or shouted, these words absolutely leave scars and cause damage. If I am calling people idiots or assholes under my breath, the words are still violent, but by keeping them internal, I am mostly causing damage to myself. Dozens of times a day I would do this to myself, and it would come out in little ways. A short temper. Resistance to change or new ideas. Just a general unhappiness with the world.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ― Gautama Buddha

After this epiphany, I realized that I began having fewer negative thoughts directed at others. I started to feel more compassion towards and individuate those I would normally have a few choice words for. This was awesome, and exactly what I was going for. The one change that has surprised me most occurs when I am driving. I drive a lot – 40K to 50K miles per year. I started working on my reactions to other drivers about a year ago, and it has gotten better. But when I combined that with this new exercise, the magic happened. Now, when someone is driving in what I feel is an unsafe or reckless manner, I become calm and centered and sincerely wish them safe travels. I remind them that driving is a team sport, and I hope they find some inner peace and realize the danger in how they are driving.

For me, this ties back to not using “lazy” words like hate. I have learned to be more verbose. Verbosity adds meaning.

This exercise has brought me calmness and clarity.

Ask questions.

Doug

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